Obsession

2008-05-01T19:22:00.001-07:00

Alright, so this week I had STAR testing in school, leaving me with more than adequite amounts of free time. What did I decide to do with it? I've decided to learn Korean! I spent the week trying to learn Hangul, a couple of words, and mostly just watch Korean dramas.
I just finished watching one in fact, the name was My Lovely Week. I only watched it because it had an actress from the movie Sex is Zero, and 100 Days With Mr. Arrogant. She's the main character and the one the older man goes after-If I happen to be interested sometime in the future.

Life really has been strange though lately! I spend so much time sleeping, and not much time doing anything else. In about a month and a half I'll be going to live with my parents! I'm pretty excited to be out of this trap. I almost feel like I've passed the point of being allowed to complain, I mean it's very nearly been a year and here I am ranting! But I suppose it's to myself, and nobody will ever know, so what's the harm in talking about the things that upset me? Maybe too many things upset me I suppose, I don't have a hard life, do I? Sure, my past was riddled with sickening little things, but isn't everyone's? I can't go around expecting things to be perfect. More than anything though, I can't wait until things are just comfortable, no more having to worry so much about paying for little things in school, or being upset and having nobody around to comfort me. Can you imagine? The girl that used to be wishing so hard for death to come, and while that may still apply every now and then, she lived a whole year with nobody around to comfort her when she was sad! A whole year without hugs, kisses, and any form of touching at all. It's quite amazing when I think about it, I grew up with my mother constantly doing that stuff, and this whole year I haven't had a single person so much as touch me. Well, that's not true, Lisa hugged me once when I was leaving, but it was the fake kind that my father gave me once or twice in my life time.

I suppose that's enough about that though, what's past is past! I only have the future to look forward to now. At least no matter what, I know that I'll survive some how, and watching those silly Korean dramas lets me know I'm not getting too tough for my own good. I suppose it's good to know how to cry, you just have to lessen it. So, here's to being independant!

I'm going to go outside for a little bit now, I suppose all this talk about getting over being alone, has made this dark room seem more lonely. How ironic!
Well, farewell, whoever you may be.

Quondam vitam incepit.

2008-04-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, so historically I haven't been very good at writing in journals or blogs, but on a whim I decided that perhaps I should keep track of things that go on, either for future reference, or just because it will clean out my dusty mind. I called this blog midnight write, because I'm usually up at midnight complaining to myself about how tired I am, so I start to do something rather than sleep. Hopefully I'll be writing in this more around ten or so, but I suppose whenever works. But currently I'm getting quite close to becoming sick, so I'm going to actually go to sleep now. Goodnight.

Life, everything included

Obsession

Quondam vitam incepit.